学习心理     
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Set Your Own Pace
From 21st Century
  By Ralph Jennings
  Published on 2001-10-18
  Dear Ralph,
  I am a student in the university. I often remember the day when I first entered the famous university with curious eyes and hopes last year. I was very glad to find a place in my ideal school and major in a reputable department. At that time I was confident I would be a good student, but later I found I made a big mistake.
  The university is a place filled with fierce competition. The students around me are so excellent that sometimes I feel I am useless. I told myself not to lose heart. Furthermore, I studied hard and took part in many competitions to prove that I am a capable girl, but unfortunately I failed again and again. I hate failure and cannot bear it now. It has turned out that my confidence is not real confidence, but confidence based on other people's approval. In a word, I feel depressed, confused and frustrated. I don't think my future is bright.
  My classmates are all hard-working, especially my roommates. A girl from Anhui Province doesn't go to bed until one or two o'clock. I knew that this way is not suitable for me, but I was so afraid that I will be left behind that I cannot control myself from studying very late. I feel tired - very tired. When I face such great pressures, what can I do?
  Amanda, Beijing
  Amanda,
  Your story is common for people at high-status universities. You were probably a top student in high school, which gave you confidence you would also be the best in college. But when top students get together from all over the country, most are not at the top anymore.
  To stand tall at the university, first know exactly what you want to learn (and why) and how to reach your career goals. You may not need to be a top student to reach these personal goals, meaning you may be able to relax and enjoy education yet still get what you want. Also respect your study habits. If studying late at night doesn't suit you, do what suits you instead. By staying up as late as your roommates, you're letting other people's approval give you confidence.
  In the same spirit, don't join extra competitions unless you enjoy the subject - speech or drama, for example - or unless you can win something useful such as a scholarship. Rather than competing, you may be happier taking breaks to socialize, watch movies or do something off campus. Friends and hobbies will help define your individuality, which is another step towards self-confidence. Finally, compete in the future instead of the present. Look to graduation, when you and your classmates will apply for jobs. Ask employers now what you need to get the best jobs and meet these requirements early if you can. If you can use an extra internship, pursue that now instead of later when everyone else wants to be an intern.

中国科学技术大学
继续教育学院

2005-11-22

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